S4 | 14: How To Know You Are Growing

These are the signs to look out for.

Jan 15, 2026

If you’re African like me, you know the ritual. You return to the village after a few years away, and your grandmother pulls you close, eyes widening as she measures you against the doorframe of memory. “Look at you,” she says, voice thick with pride and wonder. “You’ve grown.”

The last time she saw you might have been during Omugwo, when she came to care for the new mother and the newborn. Back then, growth was unmistakable: longer limbs, fuller cheeks, and a deeper voice.

Physiology announced itself without apology.

Personal growth, though, is subtler. It doesn’t stretch bones or deepen voices. It works in the quiet spaces of the mind. Yet it leaves evidence (if you know where to look).

Years ago, I asked myself a simple but stubborn question:

“How do I know I’m actually making progress?”

I wanted a finish line, a certificate, something tangible. Then I read John C. Maxwell and realised the truth: personal growth has no graduation day. It is not a destination; it is motion itself.

So I began to look for the motions of growth—the small, repeatable signals that something inside is shifting, expanding, and becoming more.

After much reflection (and long before AI could help), I settled on three clear places where these motions show up:

1. The habits you keep

2. The activities you choose

3. The influences you allow

These are the quiet metrics of a life that is growing.

#1. Habits.

James Clear famously called habits the compound interest of self-improvement.

Small deposits, made consistently, yield returns that surprise you years later.

As you grow, your habits start to change without fanfare. You notice yourself reaching for water instead of soda, not because you forced it, but because the desire quietly shifted.

You open a book at 10 p.m. instead of scrolling. You sit to write or meditate or plan the next day, not out of discipline alone, but because the alternative now feels slightly alien.

These new patterns aren’t dramatic. No one will stop you on the street to say, “My God, your morning routine has transformed.” But over months and years, the person who emerges is unmistakably different.

Look back six months or a year.

Can you point to routines that have taken root almost on their own?

A walk after dinner.
A consistent bedtime.
A few minutes of reading every morning.
A deliberate pause before responding in heated conversations.

If yes, that’s a motion of growth.

The architecture of your days is slowly, faithfully, becoming the architecture of the person you want to be.

#2. Activities.

Growth also reveals itself in the activities you naturally gravitate toward.

The person who is growing starts to spend discretionary time differently. Where once weekends dissolved into endless streaming or aimless scrolling, now there are pockets claimed for creation, learning, or development.

You sign up for the course you kept bookmarking. You finally start the side project. You pick up the guitar again, or the sketchbook, or the language app, because the pull feels stronger than the resistance.

You begin to protect time for depth over distraction. You start reading books that challenge you rather than comfort you.

These choices are votes for the future self.

Each hour invested in deliberate practice, reflection, or skill-building is evidence that your priorities are realigning with your values.

Ask yourself:

What do my unscheduled hours look like now compared to a year ago? Am I spending more time on things that stretch me, refine me, or connect me to something larger?

If the answer is yes (even slightly), that is a motion of growth.

#3. Influences

This Jim Rohn line is overused but undefeated:

You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.

Growth shows up most clearly in the influences you curate.

You begin to notice whose words light you up and whose drain you. You unsubscribe from feeds that leave you agitated or small. You mute conversations that revolve around gossip or complaints. You seek out voices (books, podcasts, friends, mentors) that challenge your thinking, expand your horizon, and raise your standards.

This isn’t about surrounding yourself only with “successful” people or creating an echo chamber of positivity. It’s about intentional exposure to perspectives and energies that call you upward.

You start reading authors who unsettle you in the best way. You find yourself drawn to friends who are a little further along in the areas you want to grow.

You limit time with relationships (online or offline) that consistently pull you backwards.

If you can look at your information diet, your social circle, and your media consumption and see deliberate upgrades, that is a motion of growth.

The Beauty of Motion Over Milestone

We live in a culture obsessed with milestones—promotions, follower counts, revenue goals, and body transformations. They feel like proof. But real growth often happens in the spaces between those milestones, in the daily repetitions and quiet choices that no one claps for.

The motions of growth (new habits taking root, activities shifting toward meaning, influences being carefully curated) are the truest indicators that you are becoming more.

They don’t shout. They whisper.

But if you listen closely, you’ll hear it: the quiet, steady sound of a life expanding, of capacity enlarging.